Em'ly falls

Woke up in the middle of the night, it was finally snowing, though not sticking much.  Read a few chapters, basically, the fall of Em'ly and all the changes that happened because of that.

Chapter XXIX.  David visits Steerforth.  Miss Dartle haunts every move of the two, always within ear shot, always watching.  Finally, the four of them go for walk (Steerforth, his mother, Miss D, and David.)  Miss D holds David back out of ear shot, and in her round-about way, asks him what Steerforth has been up to.  David says he hadn't seen him either until the night before.  She knows something, she doesn't ever say it.  Makes the comment about Mrs. Steerforth and James being so much alike in temperament that if they should have a falling out there would be no recovery, or that it would be more difficult than if they had had very opposing temperaments.  They are too enmeshed to not take it overly personally, or at least Mrs. Steerforth is.

Later James tries to win over Miss Dartle, and it appears as if he does, soften her edges.  He has her sing and play the harp for he and David.  She does, but then abruptly leaves the room and is gone for the night.  When David goes to say "goodnight" to Steerforth, the latter holds onto this hands and prevents his leaving.  He says, "Daisy, if anything, should ever separate us, you must think of me at my best, if circumstances should ever part us."

David answers, "You have no best to me, Steerforth," said I, "and no worst. You are always equally loved, and cherished in my heart."

Those actions have already been set in motion which will change everything between them.

Chapter XXX.  David goes to Yarmouth.  He stops at Omer and Jenkins on the way to the Barkis house, finds Mr. Omer sitting inside with the door open.  Asks for news.  Asks about Martha, and Mr. Omer is about to tell of her, but his daughter enters, so he stops.  Had commented earlier regarding Em'ly that she seems unsettled as of late, and he attributes this both to Mr. Barkis' failing health, and to her engagement.  Commenting how she seems more and more to cling to her uncle, but that he thinks once she is married, she will feel for settled.

David leaves for Barkis' house.  Everyone is there.  Em'ly clings more and more to her uncle, speaking inaudibly.  Ham is there to take her home, she refuses to leave with him, and begs to stay where she is.  David goes upstairs to see Barkis.  Mr. Peggotty comments that his breath will leave him at the going out of the tide, and it does.  In his dying breath, he revives enough to look at David and say, "Barkis is willin'l."

Chapter XXXI.  They bury Barkis in the churchyard, near David's parents.  Peggotty had used her own money to buy plots there, fulfilling her promise to never leave Clara.  David wanders back alone.  Earlier, David found use for his professional skills, in reviewing Barkis' will.  Barkis left 1000 pounds to Mr. Peggotty, and the rest of his fortune (of which was considerable for how miserly he was) to be divided equally between Peggotty, David, and Em'ly.  It had been decided that Ham and Em'ly would be married soon.

David comes to the boat house after the funeral, late in the day.  They are waiting for Ham and Em'ly to arrive.  Ham arrives alone, he calls David outside under the guise of showing him something.  David goes.  Ham is as pale as a ghost, hands David a letter written in Em'ly's hand.  She has run away, in hopes of becoming "a lady."  She calls herself wicked and undeserving of their affection.  She asks for forgiveness, and gives her enduring love and thanks to her uncle, but she has gone.  She doesn't say, but everyone knows: Steerforth.

David feels growing shame for having introduced him to the family.  Mr. Peggotty vows to spend the rest of his life in searching for her and bringing her home.  The town is divided in their opinions of Em'ly, most against her, but all vow to support the family.  Mrs. Gummidge rises from her constant gloomy self-absorption and becomes a pillar of strength and support, doing everything necessary to ease the burden of Mr. Peggotty.

Chapter XXXII.   David makes the comment that he never loved Steerforth better than when the ties binding them were broken.  The love remained, but the fascination was gone (he was no longer enthralled.)

David returns to the Barkis house, only a servant is present.  He sends her to bed.  Alone by the fire, he hears a knock at the door.  It is Miss Mowcher.  She had seen him in the street and followed him home.  She explains that her demeanor among people like Steerforth is an act, to protect herself from harm, so that she can survive in the world, that she has others like herself whom she must provide for.  She had heard rumors of Littimer being in Yarmouth, doing the bidding of Steerforth in regards to Em'ly.  She caught the next carriage from Norwich, but it was already too late when she arrived.  She had earlier perceived that it was because David loved Em'ly that both he and Em'ly were being toyed with.  She leaves saying that she hears many things in her travels, and will keep her ear open for news of Em'ly and send that to David if she does.  She is on his side, after all.

The Peggotty's and David leave for London.  Once there, David and Mr. Peggotty go to Mrs. Steerforth's home to see if they can learn more.  Mrs. Steerforth refuses to allow that her son would marry such a low status woman as Em'ly.  That it would ruin him, and his chances in life.  She doesn't see people of Em'ly's stature as human, at least not on the same level as herself.  She has no compassion, but she has at this moment disowned her son.  She tries to buy off Em'ly.

As they leave the house, Miss D rushes out and confronts David passionately (in anger) over Em'ly, and how if she could destroy her she would.  It seems she does believe that these people are like animals.  It's hard to tell if her anger is because she herself held affection for Steerforth, or if it's on behalf of the mother.  Mr. Peggotty must hear all these slings and arrows, but he and David walk on, and he vows to leave that night.  As Peggotty and David watch him leave down the street, he says, "I"m a going to seek her, fur and wide.  If any hurt should come to me, remember that the last words I left for her was, 'My unchanged love is with my darling child, and I forgive her!'"

Waiting for a break in the weather

And grateful for the day off where I don't actually have to do anything.  Was thinking that when I woke up only to jump out of bed moments later after remembering it was garbage day.  At any rate, got the fridge cleaned out, been meaning to do that for months, and got the recycling out.  Turned out to be very wet out, got so soaked, I might as well have taken a shower.  Then walked up the street to see if anything was open; one coffee shop was, so went in and wrote.  Now I'm home again, and finally closed my window, when I realized the wind had changed direction and now the rain was coming in.  It's not too cold out, but suddenly the forecast says there's a chance of snow tomorrow, so I guess it will be getting cold.  All I can hear is the rain.  Over half an inch so far, and no sign of letting up: maps showing a solid band of yellow and red stretching back toward the Pacific and crossing over.

I want to go for a walk.  And I want pie.  I didn't make one this year.  Made stuffed baked squash, watched movies, and cleaned up after the washing machine flooded the basement from someone's unbalanced load.  I had an invitation, just didn't feel like being social.  (I appreciate it, though.)

Anyway, back to Charles/David.  Uh, finally made it past the Dora obsession, actually it wasn't really that long.  David decides to go visit Traddles and looks him up.  He lives in a run-down neighborhood where people throw their old umbrellas and cabbages out into the street.  When David arrives, there is a confrontation between a servant and the milkman over the non-payment for the milk, but the door is open, and David is able to enter.  Traddles lives upstairs in a single room.  He is good-natured in spite of having been dealt harshly in life.  He is frugal, and has been saving up the funds to take the bar to be a lawyer.  He is engaged, as well, though, saving for the day when he can marry his beloved, even if he has to wait until they are old.

While David and he are talking, the landlord comes up the stairs; it is none other than Mr. Micawber, who doesn't recognize David.  He's come up to question why there is a guest in the room, but upon the realization that it is his old friend David, he changes his demeanor.  Eventually, David invites Traddles (Tommy), and Mr. and Mrs. Micawber to his home for dinner at a future date, and he departs.  When the day arrives, he buys food for the dinner and gets into it with Mrs. Crupp (his landlady) over the preparations (she is supposed to prepare his food as part of the rental fees, but also seems put out to do so, he doesn't really have the facilities to do it himself).  When the food arrives, it is barely edible.  The party makes the best of it and finds a way to cook it over the fire, and is generally in a state of chaotic enjoyment over this arrangement, when a presence is felt that someone has entered.  It is Littimer.  He says he is looking for Steerforth.  Says he has been at Oxford and is due back.  (Not sure why he expects him at David's.)

Littimer proceeds to take over the food preparation, and the joy of the evening is sucked away.  He has a way of making everyone feel inferior.  The evening ends with Mrs. Micawber discussing what Mr. Micawber can possibly do to make money, as they have none, and owe more.  She suggests he should take up an ad offering his services.  David points out that this is expensive.  Unclear where the money should come from.  They depart.  As they do, David holds Traddles back and warns him not to loan them money for this scheme, it seems Traddles has already made a loan for another scheme.

When they are departed, and David is alone, footsteps are heard on the stairs.  It is Steerforth.  He asks David for food, and proceeds to consume what remains from the earlier party.  When David mentions that Traddles was part of the earlier dinner party, Steerforth dismisses the latter, David tries to talk him up, as he genuinely likes Traddles.  S is in an odd state.  He has not been to Oxford as Littimer suggested, but to Yarmouth.  Said he was sailing in the boat.  Brought back a letter from Peggotty regarding the downturn of health of Mr. Barkis.  David decides to go visit, asks if Steerforth would join him.  Steerforth convinces David to come visit at Highgate first, to stay between himself and Miss Dartle.  David sees Steerforth off.

In his pocket he finds a letter from Micawber, and opens to read it.  Micawber (as is usual) who had seemed to be in such high spirits at dinner, had in fact known that he was once again destitute and needing a way out.  He will probably run again.  David doesn't worry for the Micawbers, they always seem to get out of things, but for Traddles who will lose everything in the bargain, and who did nothing to deserve that outcome, being careful and diligent with his money and life.

There have been sirens going over and over again for the past hour.  Must be the rain, and traffic.  Very few people out and about on foot here.  Perhaps I will put on the rain gear and make the best of it, otherwise I'll just go a little stir crazy from being home all day...another siren.

Finding it hard to pay attention

I'm trying to get through the falling-in-love-with-Dora section.  It's not very compelling, seems to go on for while.  I've taken breaks from it by reading the script for "Middleton," by Will Eno, "The Notebook of Trigorin," which is Tennessee Williams' adaptation of Chekhov's "The Sea Gull," and have re-started the Mamet essay book, the name of which is eluding me, and I don't feel like looking for it, so, it'll just be "the Mamet book" for now.  Also, I have a bunch of plays to re-read over the long weekend; someone suggested I look for monologues in these ("Conduct of Life," Forness, "Marisol," Riviera, and random selection of Blessing plays.)  Dry humor?  Dry irony?  She knows me well enough.

Should watch some Shakespeare, too, I haven't seen enough.  Curious about levels of melodrama, to go, or not go there.

Back to it soon.  I actually tried to read more last night, but I just fell asleep.  I think there are 400 pages left, he can't go on about her forever.

Finally caught up

Steerforth never shows up, David waits, then finally goes over to Highgate to his mother's home.  He has gone to Oxford, but David is invited to dine with Mrs. Steerforth and Miss Dartle.  In his loneliness, he imagines feelings for Miss Dartle.

Soon enough, Steerforth returns, with two friends.  David insists on entertaining them in his new lodgings.  They get drunk, particularly David.  They go to the theatre, he sits near Agnes, unexpectedly.  Makes an ass of himself.  She tells him to leave, he has enough wits about him to do that.  Steerforth gets him home.  He spends the next day hungover and in a state of remorse.  Receives a letter from Agnes, goes to meet her.  She invites him to a dinner where she is staying.  He goes.  Traddles from school, shows up.  Uriah is there, lurking.  In both meetings with Agnes, she warns him of Steerforth being his "bad angel."  He tries to convince her otherwise.  She is his "good angel," he recognizes this this without any prompt.

At the end of the evening, he invites Uriah home for coffee, Uriah spills his intention to marry Agnes.  David wants to attack him, but thinking of Agnes' influence, does not.  It's late, Uriah can't go home, sleeps on David's floor.  David is horrified and fascinated with him, can not sleep with him there.

His feelings for Steerforth ebb in this time when Agnes' influence is still so strong and Steerforth is absent (supposedly at Oxford.)

He is articled at work.  His boss, Mr. Spenlow, invites him home for dinner.  His daughter, Dora, is there.  She has a "companion" to keep her out of trouble, none other than Miss Murdstone.  David and Miss M greet one another coolly, neither giving away their true past together.  David falls in love, in earnest, with Dora.  This is his future wife.

I am now caught up to where I last left off.

Yarmouth

Well, first off, more people of interest:

Littimer.  A servant who came into Steerforth's company while he was at University.  David refers to him as "respectable," which I think translates to "disdainful," as he always makes David feel small and naïve in his presence, and carries an air about him that causes the other servants to do his work for him rather than ask him to do anything.  He arrives in Yarmouth on the last full day that David and Steerforth are there.  "To do what he needs to do."  Very secretive.

Martha.  A woman David and Steerforth encounter as she comes out of the shadows and mournfully follows Ham and Emily home on their last night in Yarmouth.  When David arrives at Peggotty's to stay the night, he finds Ham outside pacing.  Emily and Martha are inside with Peggotty.  David and Ham enter, Martha is distraught and on the ground, holding herself like a woman in agony.  David recognizes her from the first time he was in the funeral home (Mr. Omer's), she was working there.  She knows Emily from school, though three years older.  We hear her say that she wishes to go to London, where no one knows her.  We don't know what has caused this need to go away, but Emily agrees to give her money.  Ham hands Emily his wallet rather than her own, and Emily gives Martha enough money.  After Martha departs, Emily breaks down sobbing, stating that , "I am not as good a girl as I ought to be," - (Chapter 22) which she repeats, as she clings to Peggotty.  When at last she has been calmed and all traces of the weeping have been removed so as to not upset her uncle, she and Ham leave for home.  She grateful and affectionate to the latter.  David sees it as a good sign.  (Also, Emily is employed by Omer (and Joram, now) as a dressmaker.  Not much loved by the other women/girls in town.  Jealousy, and a sense the they believe she thinks she is better than them.  She wishes to be a lady.  And with Ham, she never will be.  Her engagement to Ham occurs right before Steerforth and David arrive at the Mr. Peggotty's home on their first night in Yarmouth.  Upon taking leave that night, Steerforth states, "That's rather a chuckle-headed fellow for the girl, isn't he?"-(Chapter 21.)

Miss Mowcher.  A travelling make-up and hair artist.  Also a dwarf.  Suspect she can alter appearances.  Has known Steerforth for some time.  Offers her services up to David, and he declines.  Takes an interest in hearing about Emily.

During their stay in Yarmouth, David and Steerforth are often apart.  David is often off to visit his old home place, and spends the night with Peggotty and Barkis, while Steerforth stays at the inn in town and can keep later hours.  He insinuates himself in with the locals.  This is also how he ends up buying the boat, later christened "Lil Em'ly," which David takes as a generous gesture to Mr. Peggotty.

On their last full day in Yarmouth, David spends one last day at his old home place, and arrives back in Yarmouth late.  He finds Steerfoth alone in Mr. Peggotty's home staring into the fire in a melancholic state.  He violently starts when David touches him on the shoulder.  In a rare burst of truth, he states that he wishes he had had a wise father to guide him in life, that he would have been better off to be Mr. Peggotty or Ham for all their simple-ness and poverty, than himself.  But he eventually shakes off this private self, and puts back on the air of his public face.  We don't yet know what he has done.  (Also, Mr. Barkis is not well.)

They return to London the next day, most of the town turning out to see them off.  On the way, they discuss a letter David has received from Betsey Trotwood regarding his decision toward an occupation.  She has suggested becoming  a proctor.  He asks Steerforth about it, S explains what one is, and that it would be as good as a profession for David as any other.  David decides to go along with it.

Trotwood and Janet are in town.  David takes leave of Steerforth, they agree to meet in a couple days time.  He goes to meet his aunt, who is paranoid in the city, trusting nothing.  They decide to go to the Doctors Commons the next day to meet with the Messrs. Spenlow and Jorkins about the situation.  David agrees to try out the position for a probationary period.  They depart and Miss Betsey finds David lodgings, and then she and Janet return to Dover.

Oh, one other thing.  When David and Betsey set off for the Doctor's Commons in London, they are followed by the mysterious man that Mr. Dick had mentioned to David previously.  Betsey has David hire a carriage for the she and the man and leaves David on the street.  When she returns, she is missing most of the money in her purse.  He makes her fearful, but we have yet to learn his identity.  (Though she was married earlier in life.) 

Getting close both to the half-way, and the point where I left off a year ago.  But you always pick up on more things in the re-reading of it.  (I've decided I need to re read "The Seagull," because I can't distill it down to a sentence or two of explanation.  So it's somewhere at the bottom of a long list of reading now.)

Red flags unheeded

We see what we want to see amidst blaring warnings that others would point out to us were we inclined to hear it.  We aren't.

David goes on the visit to Steerforth's home.  Meets his mother, who is overly doting, one might say she worships him, on James (Steerforth) and sees him as all things good and perfect.  In such, she's not all that interesting.  Living with her is a Miss Dartle (commonly called Rosa by the Steerforths).  She is a slight, dark-haired, dark-eyed, contrary woman., that David deems to be about aged 30, and in want of a husband.  She was taken in by Mrs. Steerforth as a companion, when Rosa was left alone in the world at a young age.  She is embittered, never saying what she really thinks directly, but only in a form of questioning rebuttal.  (And so hard to get her real meaning across, that David wakes up finding he has dreamt about her words without knowing at all what they mean.  "Oh! you mean it's not!...Well, I'm very glad to hear it! Now, I know what to do! That's the advantage of asking. I shall never allow people to talk before me about wastefulness and profligacy, and so forth, in connection with that life, any more.") (Dickens, David Copperfield, Chapter 20.)

She has a scar across her lip, usually only barely noticeable, except when her mood is about to change, and then it serves as a signal, changing shade before the rest of her shows it.  David finds out later that Steerforth had caused the scar, had thrown a hammer at her and hit her in the face when they were younger. (Who throws a hammer at someone's face?)

Regarding the name "Daisy"' that Steerforth has bestowed on David.  Miss Dartle, "But really Mr. Copperfield...is it a nickname? And why does he give it you? Is it - eh? - because he thinks you young and innocent? I am so stupid in these things." (Yup.) (Chapter 20.)

Regarding David's friends in Yarmouth, ""Oh, but really! Do Tell me. Are they, though?...That sort of people.  Are they really animals and clods, and beings of another order? I want to know so much." (Miss Dartle.)

Steerforth's reply, "Why, there's a pretty wide separation between them and us, ...They are not to be expected to be as sensitive as we are. Their delicacy is not to be shocked, or hurt very easily. They are wonderfully virtuous, I dare say. Some people contend for that, at least; and I am sure I don't want to contradict them. But they have not very fine nature; and they may be thankful that, like their coarse rough skins, they are not easily wounded." (Chapter 20.)

Miss D, "Really!...Well, I don't know, now, when I have been better pleased than to hear that.  It's so consoling! It's such a delight to know that, when they suffer, they don't feel! Sometimes I have been quite uneasy for that sort of people; but now I shall just dismiss the idea of them altogether. Live and learn. I had my doubts, I confess, but now they're cleared up. I didn't know, and now I do know, and that shows the advantage of asking - don't it?" (Chapter 20.)

Later, when alone with Steerforth, David expects that he will apologize for the statement, that he was only saying it to egg on Miss D.  He doesn't (because he believes it, as many people still do.  If you can make less of another, then you can allow all sorts of abuse to happen to them, justifying your inaction or complicity in the matter, by denying they have the same feelings that you would under similar circumstances, that you are more human than they.)

When David says that Miss D is "clever," Steerforth replies,  "Clever! She brings everything to a grindstone...and sharpens it, as she has sharpened her own face and figure these years past. She has worn herself away by constant sharpening. She is all edge."  (Chapter 20.) Which is truth, but when she speaks at times, she also sees through the fog of affection for Steerforth that blinds the others. And perhaps it was she baiting Steerforth to speak the ugly truth of his beliefs and not the other way around.  Too soon to tell.

And it's true that David sees a hero in Steerforth.  And for all the inherent narcissism in him, Steerforth did, in fact, rescue David, and champion him in school, and also in the inn, and that is worth something, in David's case devotion, albeit blind, regardless of his true motives for being that champion: it made David's life at the time infinitely better.

But, his low opinion of others not in the same life station as himself, perhaps allows him to misuse Lil Em'ly the way he does without remorse: it doesn't matter if he destroys her, she's not as human as he, and so there can be no consequences to it.

All of these, warnings, but we tend to overlook them in our desire to be close to "perfection" and have some of it rub off on us, and so does David with Steerforth.  He is much like us.

Oh, one other thing

I guess it's worth mentioning, that when David was younger, and he had tea with the Heeps, they plied him for information, hitting him one after the other, so that even though he didn't wish to disclose information about his past, he somehow did.  Also, while he was there, the door was open to the street, and Micawber walked past, saw him, and poked his head in.  He was very free with the information about their lives in London.  David is eventually able to leave with him on the pretext of visiting Mrs. Micawber.  Later, David spies Uriah and Mr. Micawber walking arm-in-arm down the street.  Haven't read far enough ahead to know how that plays out in the future, but he thought enough of it to mention it, so it must.

Am almost to the point where I left off before.

Seven years pass

Now David is seventeen and leaving school.  He doesn't know what he would like to do with his life, so Trotwood suggests that he go visit Peggotty in Yarmouth for a month.  On a final night with the Strongs, he notices that Mr. Wickfield does not care for Annie Strong, and prefers that Agnes keep a distance from her.

David is a bit full of himself, thinking himself all grown up, educated, and of some importance.  He heads to London on the way to Yarmouth, he takes a place of honor on the carriage ride, only to be asked to switch places with a dog-and-horse breeder.  In the inn where he is to stay the night, he is given a room over the stable, that smells of the stable, and given the dregs out of several bottles for his wine.

He goes out to the theatre.  Julius Caesar is playing, which he thoroughly enjoys.  Back at the inn, he runs into Steerforth, who doesn't recognize him at first, then decides to refer to him as "Daisy."  When Steerforth inquires about what room he is staying in, he laughs that it is above the livery, and has the waiter give David a better, more agreeable (non-smelly) room.  A difference between the two, Steerforth, someone warrants respect, people do his bidding, whereas they do not for David.

In the morning, Steerforth invites him to breakfast, wanting to know all about him, and says, "I should like to hear what you are doing, and where you are going, and all about you.  I feel as if you were my property."  Somehow this pleases David, and he tells of his quest and reasons...and so fate begins to turn.

Steerforth invites David to visit his mother in Highgate, and they set off.

More later.

School days again

As time passes, Mr. Dick and David (Trot) become great friends.  One day, Aunt Betsey asks if David would like to return to school.  He says yes.  Aunt Betsey says they will leave the next day for Canterbury, and first stop to meet with a Mr. Wickfield, a lawyer.  He and Betsey set out to visit the school in question and to find suitable lodging for David.  None of the latter is found, and David ends up residing temporarily with the Wickfields, later to become permanent.  Working for Mr. Wickfield is one Uriah Heep, always described as skeletal, clammy, cadaverous, and ghostly.  When David mentions him, he often also mentions the desire to be rid of any touch or energy of him.  Also, living with Mr. Wickfield is his daughter, about David's age, whom David describes in comparison to Lil Em'ly, "The influence for all good, which she came to exercise over me at a later time, begins already to descend upon my breast.  I love little Em'ly, and I don't love Anges - no, not at all in that way - but I feel that there are goodness, peace, and truth wherever Anges is; and that the soft light of the coloured window in the church, seen long ago, fall on her always, and on me when I am near her, and on everything around." - Charles Dickens, David Copperfield, chapter XVI.

David also meets Dr. and Annie Strong.  Doctor Strong runs the school, Annie is his much younger wife, who came from a poor family.  Her relations are always trying to get Dr. Strong to part with his money for their sake.  Annie is embarrassed by this, tries to avoid the subject.  She has a cousin, Jack Maldon.  Mr. Wickfield has arranged for him to be sent to India to seek his fortunes.  There is a going away dinner for him, which also coincides with Dr. Strong's birthday.  Annie's relations attend, as well as several of the boys from school.  Annie is in low spirits, and when Jack finally takes leave, she is found passed out in the hall.  We do not find out why yet.

Mr. Dick visits David once a week, he becomes a favorite guest at the school, both to the other boys and to Dr. Strong.  On one of the visits, he recounts the appearance of a man at the Trotwood house who seems to frighten Miss Betsey, and asks David about it.  Also, David is in correspondence with Peggotty and the latter tells him that the Murdstones have abandoned Blunderstone, and the house sits empty, waiting to be sold.

And lastly, Uriah Heep had earlier requested that David join he and his mother for tea.  And he confronts David regarding this, asking if they are too "umble" for David to visit.  David says he was waiting only for an invitation.  The invitation is given for that night, and after checking with Mr. Wickfield, David accepts and goes.

Another summary

It seems silly to recap, what I previously have written, but...David is fed and bathed, and swaddled up in clothing.  He is given his own room which overlooks the sea.  The first night he is locked in the room, he imagines it's as if they are afraid he will run away again (which is in his favor, that they don't wish him to leave.) He sits up and watches the moon stretch its light across the water.

In the morning, he comes down to breakfast and eventually learns that his aunt has written a letter to the Murdstones and is awaiting a reply.  When the reply eventually comes, David learns the Murdstones will be coming by that same day.  He waits in dread.  They arrive at a late hour.  They describe him as the worst boy imaginable and that the means they took (the abuse, the sending of a child to work in a warehouse, etc.) were in his best interest.  Trotwood asks them if they would have treated Murdstone's own child the same?  (Of course they wouldn't have.) And lays into them for breaking Clara's heart and hastening her death through the destruction of her spirit, to obey some rule of who they wanted her to be, through their need to control another human being.  Trotwood regrets that Murdstone ever laid eyes upon Clara.  Murdstone says he will take the boy and treat him as he sees fit, but that the decision needs to be made now, and if not, he will leave and never return.  Trotwood says she will take her chances and keep the boy.  The Murdstones leave and that chapter of David's life if forever closed.

He is re-christianed "Trotwood Copperfield" and has new clothing made for him, beginning a new life.

Splitting my time between this book and the plays I'm trying to memorize monologues from.  Done with Chekhov for the short while.  Trying to have something new for class.

Departure from London

David learns to pawn off the Micawber's property, and lives a double life, never letting on to those he works with what his life is like.  He refers to himself as "shabby" now.  Micawber's creditors finally catch up with him, and he is sent to debtor's prison.  The family soon join him there, and both David and the servant girl are set up in new rooms near the prison.  Micawber challenges his imprisonment, and is released.  The  family leaves London for better prospects.

David plans his escape, Betsey Trotwood enters his mind.  He writes to Peggotty under a guise of saying he has heard of a similar woman, asking where she lives, and also for money.  Peggotty sends both.  He slips out from work, tries to hire an older boy to transport his box, and is robbed.  He sleeps outside his old school, and then heads toward Dover on foot, hocking his waistcoat and coat along the way in order to buy food.  By the time he finally arrives, and fortuitously finds her house, his shoes have fallen apart, his clothes are filthy and torn, his hair is a rat's nest, his skin is burnt, and he is covered in red and white dirt.  When he explains who he is and breaks down crying, she brings him into the house.  Living with her is a Mr. Dick.  He encourages her to take in David.

Just a straight-up summary today.

Carry on

Finished the McGuiness translation on the bus last night, and now only have 250 or so pages to go in Copperfield until I'm caught up to where I left off last year.

A couple months later, from where we last left off, David is called out from class into the Headmaster's home.  He is expecting gifts for his birthday.  Instead he is informed that his mother has died (also the baby.)  He is to leave the next day, not knowing that he will never return.  Traddles offers him his pillow and later gives him a sheet of paper with skeletons drawn all over it (how Traddles comforts himself after his daily beatings.)  He wanted to offer comfort and that's what he had.  Horrific circumstances either softening or hardening your heart, with Traddles, compassion wins.  (It was true for Clara as well, she loved the Murdstones, in spite of their cruelty, because it was in her nature to love, not because they deserved it.)

Everyone on the journey back home treats him with kindness, but he must return to Blunderstone.  The Murdstones give Peggotty notice, and David leaves with her to Yarmouth for a month.  During that time, E'mly is coy, barely hiding her interest in Steerforth, Peggotty and Barkis get married, and then David returns home alone.  He comments that during this period he would rather have been in the harshest of schools than here, if it meant continued learning.  As it is, the abuse and neglect are constant, as if they wish he would disappear, they continue to feed and clothe him, they do not beat him, but

the wrong that was done to me had no intervals of relenting, and was done in a systematic, passionless manner.  Day after day, week after week, month after month, I was coldly neglected. - Dickens, David Copperfield, Chapter 10

After some time, he is offered a job in London, working in the warehouse of Murdstone's business ventures, and set up in a house with the Micawbers.  A wretched outlook for his future, at ten.  Seeing all hope of a better, more learned life, closing down before him.

Density

The density of meaning in Dickens and Chekhov make it difficult to figure out what to focus on if I'm going to pursue it, there are many threads weaving through: which do you pull to follow to the center? To find a singular meaning?

In just reading it, it doesn't matter so much, but in trying to write about it, or perform it, it does.  Dickens writes tomes perhaps, but none of the words are superfluous.  Still a bit in awe that he wrote these as serials.

As far as David goes, he has returned to Blunderstone for the holidays, dreading the thought of encountering the Murdstones, but his cart gets him home early, and he finds only his mother, along with the new baby brother.  He comments that he wishes he could have died then, to that love and comfort being the last moment of his life.  He spends the evening with his mother, Peggotty, and the baby, as things had been, in hopes that the Murdstones were only a bad dream and might never return.

They do return, of course, David and Peggotty slink out before the Murdstones walk through the door.  A month of mistreatment ensues.  David tries to keep to himself, if only because he sees how his mother is punished for showing kindness to him, and finds solace in reading in his room, or sitting in the kitchen with Peggotty.  (They wish to break Clara even more so than David, though the "why?" of that is beyond me.)  Murdstone eventually reprimands him for this "sullen" behavior and he is forced to keep company with them, never moving, or showing emotion for fear of displeasing them, and bringing more pain to his mother.  At last the day arrives for him to depart, he has his last memory of his mother running out to watch him leave in the cart, he turns when she cries out, she stands motionless holding up the baby to him.  His angel, burned in his mind.  He never sees her alive again.

Catching up and piling on the text to read

Taking turns re-reading Dickens, Chekhov (The Three Sisters, Frank McGuinness translation, also read Brian Friel's, and have one other, all slightly different), and Shakespeare (Othello, for a monologue work).

As far as David Copperfield goes (I'm back to around page 100), his mother has married, he has bit Mr. Murdstone in defense of being beaten, and sent off to boarding school, and is under the spell of James Steerforth (a wealthy, pretty, golden boy).  His need to please Steerforth and be seen worthy of the latter's attention, has caused him to gossip about Mr. Mell (a poor employee of the school who was the first person David had met in London, and who had taken kindly to him with no ulterior motive) to Steerforth, and consequently, because Steerforth didn't like Mr. Mell, he leveraged that information to both humiliate him, and get him fired: the golden boy always getting the benefit of the doubt.  Those who have will be seen as righteous and be rewarded accordingly, those who lack will assume all guilt and be punished for it.  Truth, and doing what is right, being a casualty of pleasing those who hold the power.  (And Traddles, being the only one who takes a stand for Mr. Mell, is beaten for it, both for being "disloyal" to the victor, and for standing in opposition to the dominant opinion.  He alone had the conviction to speak the truth.  Others may have agreed, but they lacked the courage to express it, showing them as cowards, and aligning them with the oppressors by default.)

Saw a version of The Three Sisters, possibly based on the McGuinness translation.  At any rate, slightly annoyed (at myself) that I knew the text (Acts I-III) and what was happening next in the play as it dampened my emotional response to what was happening on stage: I was expecting it.  I still enjoyed the play: it's a good story, and the staging was original, so, unexpected.  I got more emotionally engaged with Act IV, since Friel's version is different enough, and it'd been about a month since I'd read that.  (Note to self, don't read the play right before seeing it...although, I didn't know which translation it would be based on.)

I suppose that's along the line of not watching a filmed version of a scene/play you are working on, as you need to be making your own choices and not be influenced by what someone else came up with (as you'd only be copying, not coming to it with your own back story to justify your performance.)  I think the exception is Shakespeare, which I've been told is good to watch (especially the older filmed versions) for use of the language.  And I think I will look some of those up for the sake of Othello, perhaps watching a different play, to better get a grip on cadence, and relationship dynamics between characters in that time period, i.e., as a servant, what is acceptable to say to Desdemona?  When am I crossing a boundary?  How do I get the point across without crossing it?

In all, finding the universal themes, that cycle through the ages.  We repeat the lessons over and over, falling back into old patterns our ancestors had once deemed out dated.  History repeating itself in cycles again and again across time...though perhaps on some soul level, it's the only way for us to grow.  We've been living the same stories since stories have been told.